Try and Sigh: Free Restorative Yoga Intro Class

Take a lovely sigh out with restorative yoga. Come along to a free restorative yoga introduction class if you are new to the teachings, or want to know more about Janie’s BeCalmed Studio approach. This class is for you if you know you need to do something to calm down and reduce stress, or if you’re recovering from illness or treatment and you want to come back even better. 

The beauty of restorative yoga is that it is for everyone because everyone needs a little support in their lives. Extremely capable and together people need these classes as much as those who are struggling: Because most of us don’t live in a world that supports slow, calm, cozy and soft. A life that springs from a calmer state is way better than a life that springs from stress. 

Learn potentially life-changes techniques to calm you down - gentle shapes, breathing and a guided meditation. And find out how you can make a real shift.

This class is online and in-person from Janie’s little forest-studio in Titahi Bay, Porirua.

Monday 28 April 2025

If that doesn’t suit, email Janie because she may be running a weekend class as well.

6pm-7pm

Venue: BeCalmed Studio, 11 View Rd, Titahi Bay or online (you’ll receive a link when you book)

A quick restorative reset video

Please click here to go to my You Tube channel to watch the video.

If you have any physical or medical conditions that mean you can’t lie down safely or be alone in meditation, please chat with your medical practitioner before doing this video.

HOME(who you are) PRACTICE(being who you are)

Practice can be a bit of triggering word: I gave up piano when I was a kid because I hadn’t practiced Scarborough Fair before my piano lesson! We need to practice because we want to, because we are craving a calmer state.

Are we going to give up on ourselves if we don’t practice yoga? No. We just need a gentle reminder that it’s called Practice for a reason. Let’s break down the words, Home. Practice.

Home - your ability to be your true, calmer self

Once your body has had a taste of being calm and at lovely easy in your body (plus a bonus doubtless moment of clarity or two) you will crave more. It remembers. This delicious craving will never leave you and it will gently tap you on the shoulder when you need it most. Home is lovingly waiting for you to come home to yourself. And Home is lovingly listening and taking yourself by the hand to do what your body knows best - to heal itself.

Home is a physical space where you can regularly practice. It could be a yoga mat in a cluttered lounge room. It could be a teeny room, bare, except for your yoga mat, block, bolster and an item/s that feels sacred (statue, candle, photo, dried flower). It could be your car if that’s all you’ve got available! One you start your Home Practice, you’re life will unfold and grow your Practice. One day you’ll be your paler self without it.

Home can be tapped into and experienced from anywhere – stopping at a traffic light, the second before you join a live Zoom, holiday – any time you consciously realise you’re caught in your head or your tense body and that feeling does not feel good.

Home is knowing you deserve and want better for yourself and those around you.

Home is knowing that our true nature is not motivated by stress, addiction or a battlefield mind.

Home is a place that makes you feel good, that you look forward to going and resting, no matter what is going on. Home is a feeling inside that is spacious, easy and free of tension.

Home is the awareness of how you feel in the moment, and then the disruption of the thoughts that got you there.

Home is then replacing those thoughts with a calmer intention.

Practice – bringing yourself home.

Most of us do not live in a society that values calm, relaxation, connection, nature and slowing down. It’s easy to get caught up in how the world is at the moment because creating change can feel impossible. But we can create small change in our inner world. If our outside world isn’t a place to practice our true calmer nature, then we must practice it inside. It’s called a practice for a reason – it needs to be done. The world may then soften around you.

Practice brings us into another state. It cultivates the relaxation response and stilling of the mind, so we can be something else other than anxious, stressed, neurotic, doubtful and restless.

Practice on the mat has a profound affect on us off the mat.

Practice allows us to let our busy minds go and drop down into the more subtle parts of ourselves. In these subtle parts (energy, flow, gut feeling, breath) we can take notice of who we are and what we need.

What, when and for how long?

Anything. Something. Doesn’t really matter. Go to your mat every morning even if it’s for one minute. Train your brain to deeply desire this coming home to yourself. Replace “I don’t have time” to “I make time now”.

Here are some elements that can make up a simple yet transformation Home Practice:

• Arriving, landing, being present in a comfortable sitting position where your hip creases are higher than your knees (sit on a cushion or blanket/s) so your back can elongate. Head floating effortlessly to the sky.

• An easy flow warm up to connect your breath, body and mind, and release physical tension in the body.

• Breathing exercises.

• Guided meditation.

• Yin or restorative yoga.

• Yoga asanas sequence, like a simple Salute to the Sun (link coming soon)

• Lying down in Shavasana and follow your breath (on your back, a bolster/wrapped blanket under your knees to support your lower back, shoulders and neck relaxed).

• A MindRest (Yoga Nidra) recording.

• Setting an Intention for your day so your mind knows what to filter out.

• Start with releasing physical tension, then mental tension, then rest in an experience of silence and stillness.

When? Mornings are best for practice for a few reasons: by the end of the day you are battling hours of stress, body tension and external stimulation. Mornings have a calmer energy (especially before the sun rises). Also, morning practice means you can set the scene for your day, calmer and able to cope with more stuff that comes your way. Do your own experiment. An evening practice will help you fall asleep faster and sleep deeper.

How long? 20 minutes minimum is ideal because that’s how long is usually takes to reset your nervous system. It’s also a minimum amount of time that’s needed to set your internal scene. An hour is awesome. But one minute is still coming home to true self. Start small.

Welcome Home. Stay Connected.

Reach out if you’d like a Home Practice session designed just for you and your life. Or come to small classes with Janie at BeCalmed Studio.

Seaweed-Inspired Meditation

Kia ora e hoa. Here’s a short meditation for you, to feel the essence of seaweed in a calm ocean. And please share with anyone who needs a little bit of calm in their lives. If you’d like more of this calm, join our Ocean-Inspired Day Retreat 30 March inTitahi Bay.

This meditation track was inspired by our BeCalmed Studio’s Seaweed-Inspired Yoga on 6 March as part of the awesome Seaweed Fest 2025.

Lucky-dip Tea: relieve mental stress

If you’d prefer to listen to this, you can listen here.

There is an infinite number of choices you could make in your day and in your life. Some are in your control and some are not. Some are clear, some feel impossible to make. Creating some personal rituals to relieve some of the burden from choice can help relieve mental stress. They can also be a gorgeous act of love to yourself.

Meet my little Himalayan tea box. I bought it 25 years ago in Kathmandu, Nepal. It’s been glued many times and has lived in over 20 houses (and a boat and a bus). Whenever I used to travel, I would buy some tea, something that smelt (incense, oil), a postcard, a cook book and some local music. So when I came back, I could use all my senses to recreate my experience of being in that country.

Once I’d drunken all the loose-leaf tea in this tea box I filled it with tea bags. I’m a fan of anything Dilmah (my mother was in love with Mr Dilmah). My tea box with a mix of Earl Grey, Lady Grey. and English Breakfast. Each morning, I drink whatever is at the top. I don’t give myself the choice.

I love looking at my little box. I love touching its original hinge and opening the lid. I have layers of experience and feelings when I have my cup of tea. The little box also holds times where tears would fall into my cup. Or times when I was so stressed and outside of myself that I’d only ever have a couple of sips before I’d rush on, forgetting that I even had made a cup of tea. It holds the past and potential for the future, but really it brings me joy in the moment.

Rituals that cut through the clutter and hardship of life are extremely important. Do you have one that, like being on your yoga mat, fills you with ease or a hint of joy? How can you create more?

A friend asked me a few days ago where the Buddhism saying “life is suffering” comes from. My original meditation study came from Shambhala and the teachings of Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche and his son Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche (I will forever by grateful for these teachings). Yesterday I had a reminder of these teachings. I was waiting at the traffic lights, and I noticed the woman in the double lane next to me. She was gripping the steering wheel. She was grinding her teeth - I could see the muscles in her jaw tense and release. Her lips were tight. The woman was stuck in whatever scenario or thoughts that took her away from where she was. Because if she was aware - present with her current experience of being in her body - she would have noticed the tension she was grinding for herself. That is suffering. The object of her suffering may not change, but her experience of it can. You can’t change something you don’t have awareness or insight of.

Can we be mindful every single minute of the day? Kind of hard unless you are a nun living in the Himalayas. It takes baby steps until you find yourself standing, only to tumble down and try it all over again!

I shook the hands of the Dalai Lama once when I was part of Friends of Tibet and every cell and nerve in my body melted into a feeling of love. Yoga and being mindful can evoke this. Yoga is a practice. Each time you witness your own experience, you get to see what that really is.

The experiences from yoga practice (which includes physical poses, breath, intention, meditation) bring you into your current experience, whatever that is, on and off the mat. You gain insight and clarity for your own suffering and joy. You come to a clearer understanding of how you are living your life - how disconnected you may be to nature, to others, and ultimately, to your own experience. Funnily enough, original texts of yoga are not about the physical poses. These texts are about mindfulness, meditation, surrender, and your approach and discipline of life.

There is an observance in yoga from a group of yamas, called satya. Satya can be translated as truth. It’s not just about not telling lies, Satya is more about living in truth and harmony with a mindful experience of being human - that of being integrated, whole and undivided. Satya is when what we do and what we feel are the same. This is what I hope the people who come through my studio get a glimpse of when they are here.

And this is how I feel when I enjoy my little tea box. There is no suffering when I open the lid of this box. I feel calm and present. I accept what tea I will drink that morning no matter what it is. I may then go on to have batshit crazy moments in my day, but I have an internal barometer of how else to feel and how else to be. And the more I deepen and elongate my own practice of yoga, the less batshit crazy moments I have!

What’s a little thing, special to you, that you can do have a moment where you are present, and feel special, and ease - even for a moment? I’d love to hear yours. Please share on my Facebook page.

A shorter MindRest (Yoga Nidra)

30-45 minutes is the ideal time for a MindRest (Yoga Nidra), but sometimes that’s just not possible right. And any conscious breathing or letting the mind relax is good! So here’s a shorter track for you for - just 13 minutes. .

The reason we practice Yoga Nidra over and over again is so that we give our bodies and mind a chance to transform. Each time you leave a Yoga Nidra you return with new awareness. Your conscious mind may not remember that change, but you have created a shift - one that your subtler body recognises and loves.

It took you a lifetime to get here. Be kind to yourself as you make a shift to a more aware and lovelier life.

This track is a I AM Yoga Nidra teaching.

Intro to a Calmer Life

To coax you to come to this yummy new class this year, here’s a free track to get a taste.

Calm Life. Sundays 4.30pm-6.00pm. For those who have completed a BeCalmed Yourself Series.

These classes will focus on the meditation side of yoga, using restorative yoga, Mind Rest (Yoga Nidra) and guided awareness. You’ll not only cultivate some lovely calm for your week, but you will also really begin to shift your nervous system and experience of life.

Seaweed-Inspired Yoga anyone?

*** UPDATE 27 February - this class is now full. If you’d like a free seaweed-inspired meditation track, please fill in the form below.

Cannot believe I get to be in such awesome spaces. 2025 is looking mighty good so far. Book your seaweed-inspired yoga class here.

Date: Thursday 6 March 2025, 6.30pm -7.30pm. Island Bay Community Centre. Koha. Suitable for all bodies and experiences.

Just breathe

Sounds too simple right. It is. Energy follows attention - attention to your breathe changes how you feel. That’s it. Keep it simple.

Morning Meditation Breath

How you start your day can determine your day. This three-minute meditation is for you to start your day right. Good to use before your mind runs away with you. Keep the restorative energy you’ve created overnight and use it as a soft background for your day. I was going to call this Morning Breathe - ha!

Returning home not an arduous journey

A ‘journey’ is forward facing; has forward momentum that involves going somewhere new. A journey means you start from one place and you move on to somewhere else. A journey infers a linear path where change happens from experiencing something new.

I don’t use the word journey much anymore. The word has always made me cringe slightly. Only certain people have the time and resources to go on journeys (at least that’s what I’ve told myself). It feels like an aspiration - kind of generic - and not one grounded in reality. Let’s all go on a beautiful journey together…mmm.

Over 25 houses, four different careers, many relationships, weight up and down like a yoyo - change is what I did when I was triggered. But at the same time I also had the sense that what I really needed to do is stay put, calm down and face what was already there.

My inspiration for this blog is a wonderful talk and practice: ‘Quantum Breath Meditation’ by Amrit Desai from The Amrit Yoga Institute. I did my yoga nidra teacher training with his wonderful daughter Kamini Desai. Amrit Desai talks about returning home to your self instead of going on a journey.

A journey takes you away from where you are.

And accepting where you are right now is so very important, even if staying is painful or confusing.

In our Advance Your BeCalm series of classes at BeCalmed Studio we talk about being in the present moment as a way to transform tension. How you are now in the present moment is who you will become. The future is made up of little and big present now-moments. So learning to transform tension right now is our jam.

It makes sense to me to deepen what I’ve been guiding by exploring the difference between a journey and a returning home. As always, I teach from my own experience. I’ve been exploring for myself how much of my reactions are to do with the past or a distracted mind.

Practices that lead you to calm make you aware of where tension is in the body and how many layers to that there are. A muscle may not be just a muscle - it may also be a response from the past. The path to transforming tension and therefore behaviour is to find a lovely kind of ease, no matter what is going on.

Accepting all that I have been so I can be all that I am.

Returning home to yourself first means accepting where you are right now, instead of trying something else new. There are millions of reasons not to start: don’t have time, money, responsible for too many things, not strong or well enough. It can also be an uncomfortable way to spend your time! Frustration half way through a restorative yoga shape is not because the shape is dumb or not right. The frustration can be because in restorative and yin yoga we stop long enough for other things to arise . We may recall a felt sense of not feeling safe. For me there’s a deep-seated sense that I don’t deserve to feel ease and free enough to be great. If I fidget or leave the pose early, I miss the opportunity to breathe into that experience and see it for what it is (and was).

Using the approach of observation I can view the experience differently. My breath softens it, lets it move, dissolve, pass on. Things come up to go. Often this kind of transformation happens without me doing a thing, especially after MindRest (Yoga Nidra) meditation. Peace arises from space not tension.

We face ourselves right now with a new found sense of care for ourselves - our gurgling stomach, tight neck, feeling of irritation, the things we tell ourselves, feeling shitty. The experience first arises as something we are familiar with. Then comes the opportunity for change, or at least to just feel good.

First we observe the sensation or energy in the place that calls our attention. Then we focus on our breath. We send breath to our place of attention and create space. We focus on release of the outbreath. Sometimes the experience shifts, morphs, sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes a new thought will pop in a few days later.

There’s a shift.

If we don’t face ourselves as we are right now we may end up vacuum packing certain life experiences. We might shove them into storage and go on a journey somewhere else. We are this for a reason. But all that hard, stunning and painful stuff we put in storage - the tight muscle, lack of energy - it’s not going to change by locking it up. And who we are now is who we will become. Of course if we have complex PTSD or trauma, we may need more support than restorative yoga. Yoga can be a complimentary therapy in this way.

I’ve recently worked with a senior manager who is experiencing vertigo. She’s worked with doctors on the medical explanations like inner-ear imbalance. But from a yoga perspective it could be that her nervous system is out of balance from living a full life. Most people have some kind of imbalance especially if their new normal is chronic stress. Imbalance is fine as long as we know how to balance it! it’s created a new normal of chronic stress. We are doing a balancing breath together which involves breathing through alternate nostrils. It’s a mechanical experience that balances the two sides of the brain but it’s also about slowing down enough to see what presents itself.

Another teaching from Amrit Desai: “If you are in conflict with our symptoms, you cannot solve them”. I’ll add, “cannot solve them just with a medical approach.”

Another person I support had sudden heart surgery and is now experiencing ongoing and varied complications. It’s like her body just screamed, “That’s enough!” We’re working to hold both - the life-threatening disorder and the experience of being well. If her body and mind are constantly paralysed from danger then her body won’t be able to do what it does best - heal itself.

She is recognising that the life events and personality traits that got her here in the first place are not the ones to transform her experience of life, starting with her health. It’s really, really hard for her to do this work. I’m surprised she can even get out of bed some days. But she’s moving slowly and thoughtfully with care. She’s shifting everything she thought about herself and the world, one shape and breath at a time.

Restorative Yoga is a way to drop down into our bodies and to feel something other than our over-achieving mind.

In yoga we talk a lot about energy. It can be allusive at times. I think it’s just a way to go inward and release the grip our mind can have on us. On another level, energy is the feeling that something is going on inside our body. Heat, tingling, gut feeling, tension, something else. It’s like deep listening. Restorative yoga is the recognition that we are more than our mind and body. We are all the other subtle things going on.

Everything we think, see, feel and do effects our energy. I was talking to someone in the weekend about music festivals. He was going to one over New Year which meant three days of pumping, base music for 24 hours a day. It will be extremely fun but I wonder what happens if you don’t realise the affect that all that stimulus has on your body. And if you don’t realise this effect, then how do you know how to balance it? Pumping music, no down-time, alcohol and drugs all have a combining effect on our body’s internal (how we feel) and external (how we make others feel) energy, largely controlled by the nervous system. It also takes us away from the self that has been reacting and triggering for some time.

An aside… I studied Pacific climate change adaptation as my Master’s degree. I read this beautiful piece of research from a small village in Papua New Guinea. An international charity came into the village to tell people how to eat better (I mean, really). The first thing they did was sweep up all the rotting papaya and leaves that had fallen on the ground because they said this was leaving unhealthy bacteria. But that rotting material was fertiliser for the next crops of papaya. So those next crops were more susceptible to disease. Someone coming in and telling them what to do, dismissing their indigenous knowledge, worked for no- one.

Locals were blamed for the failure of that project. Locals said, “If people don’t know what’s important to us, how can they do what’s best for us”. It’s the same with our bodies. If we don’t know what’s going on inside, how can we know what to aim for on the outside? If only they’d started with what was really going on right in front of them.

Everything we see, think, feel and do has a response or a reaction in our body.

Sun on our skin. Food in our bellies. Being yelled at. Recalling a painful scenario again and again. Our subconscious guiding us to pull out of something because we’ve failed at something similar in the past. Telling ourselves, “I’m so stressed and there’s no way out of it” over and over. Energy is subtle. Our body hears everything we tell it.

Energy that does not create ease in the body builds up and creates blockages and sensitivities. Our cells change. They have to. They are influenced by our diet, our thoughts, exercise, emotions, trauma. If someone slams a door in your face, the door may not touch you, but you’re going to get a fright. Your heart rate will go up and your nervous system will go into fight or flight, releasing cortisol. It has to. Your limbic system’s job is to keep you safe so when it senses something is dangerous it triggers your nervous system and hormones to react. People who are highly empathetic just cannot watch horror movies or go on Roller Coaster rides. It makes us feel like shit.

The same, of course, goes with influences that calm us like calming music or doing a restorative yoga shape - your limbic system thinks all is well and it curates the relaxation response: your heart rate lowers and chemical goodies like serotonin are released in your body. Of course we can’t live in Relaxed Land all the time. Our bodies are designed to swing from stress to relaxation. It’s finding a balance and dealing with trapped tension that’s a key.

Excess stress shows us as excess tension in the body. It’s gotta go somewhere.

So, if your tight neck may not just be because your neck is tight. It may be because of how you hold yourself when you are threatened or stressed, ongoing. And your gut - well, that’s a whole blog on its own. I used to have irritable bowel syndrome which included shocking cramps and vomiting. Now that I’m less stressed and more aligned with who I really am, my irritable bowel is about 80% less.

I continue to face myself and often feel this beautiful sense of care for the pain I feel. But only because of regular meditation or other practices of yoga. It’s quite incredible how I can flip back to negative thought, doom and pain, when I don’t practice regularly.

Beyond stress release is this feeling of meeting yourself where you are, warts and all.

The pain of childhood, loosing someone, feeling oppressed, intergenerational trauma - it can sit in your body like a dormant firecracker. When lit, it explodes in all sorts of ways and wreaks havoc.

The potential for yoga (meditation and breathwork as well as the physical asana movements of yoga) to transform your life is more like a slow returning home than a journey to somewhere else. I’ve been taught that we have everything inside us already, we don’t need to go looking for it somewhere else or wait for it to emerge on its own. And for some, it can happen quite quickly. For others (like me) it took decades. But I always knew I had the potential.

We are already it - already whole. We just have a bit of nurturing housework to do!

I can’t explain how to do it except from my own experience. The more time I rest in stillness and silence and accept what presents itself, the more I am able to resolve my body’s quirks and experiences, the more I’m able to experience something other than anxiety, pain and stress. This includes the feeling of unhappiness even when life looks exceptional. I know when it’s working because I feel this effortless ease - this calmer energy - and I can trust in how I feel and what I do. It always amazing what opportunities arise from this space.

Return home.

MindRest (Yoga Nidra) for healing

This free track is yours. It is from my teachings with Kamini Desai and the I AM Yoga Nidra method with the Amrit Institute. I’ve had people who do it as soon as they feel they are getting sick, every day, for at least five days. And also people who use it when they are well, as a way for the body to do what they do best - heal itself.

This lying down, guided meditation will help you release tension in your body, and your mind. Have a blanket to put over you, lay on something comfortable with a bolster or pillow under your knees (to support your lower back). An eye pillow is lovely to use too. Turn off your phone and allow yourself to let go.

If you have PTSD or complex anxiety, please consult your meditation practitioner before you practice Yoga Nidra.

Join BeCalmed Studio’s MindRest classes on Tuesday nights, 6.30pm. In forest-studio or online.

How to keep calm

Once you’ve had the serene, authentic experience from calm practices, your body wants more. Here are some tips on how to keep the calm going. Imagine if you could be calm, anywhere, anytime…

It’s important to remember that calm comes about from the absence of both physical and mental tension.

We can let physical tension go through restorative or yin poses. Muscles release what we are holding. The nervous system switches to rest and digest through these poses, especially if you practice calming breathing techniques. This paves the way to release mental tension. - we feel safe and able to let go. Calm the body to calm the mind.

However, doing restorative poses with an anxious mind may not be enough. The same can be said for just meditation. If there is oodles of tension in the body, then the mind may be too distracted to let go. Your nervous may receive conflicted signals. So doing guided meditations, especially MindRest (Yoga Nidra) will send you to that serene, mental tension-free place. You go back to your life off the mat, having made a lovely imprint of calm.

For those who have done the BeCalmed Yourself 5-week series you already have some practices to do regularly. But your mind may kick and scream and give you lots of reasons to not practice: Your mind is not always right. It doesn’t like change and it doesn’t like to let go of control. We are more than our mind and what we do. Trust the subtler layers of yourself and your ability to feel how you want to feel more often.

Relaxation can only happen in the now

Our mind is tricky - it prefers to skip over the experience of letting go and being calm in the moment. It prefers to jump again to a time in the future when we are living the life we want. We put off the one and only place where your nervous system could reset and return to the rest it so desperately needs.

So here are some tips to keep you practicing:

Keep connected

Of course my favourite is going to be to keep connected with me at BeCalmed Studio! Here are some ways to do that.

Do something every day

Especially around the same time each day. Make practicing calm like brushing your teeth. Over time, it will transform your natural state of being. It will also allow your body to yearn for this calmer state.

Practice calm when you’re feeling good

As well as not so good. Think of it has creating a calm background for all that arises in your life.

Create a permanent calm place

Place a yoga mat, or a favourite cushion and a candle or something else you love, somewhere at home. It’s important that you don’t walk past and scowl at your mat, feeling bad, if you can’t make it there. Replace this with something like, “I rest in calmness”. It doesn’t need to be a whole yoga room. You could see it as metaphorical, and in the middle of a busy room, if that’s all that is available. My favourite poet, Apirana Taylor, said he wrote some of his best work in the middle of a drunken party! That’s what his life was at that time. Let your yearning for calm create the change you need.

Watch any new habits

Many habits and addictions begin when we are under stress. If you’ve had a major event, it’s okay of course to indulge and do things as a reaction, but be careful that they don’t turn into behaviors. The more we do something, the more it becomes habit. When I first started leading Yoga Nidra sessions, I gave up my drinking habits at the same time. At the end of a session, this thought would pop into my head… what drink will I have after the session? It took months to let that go. I gave the thought no energy what so ever. Kamini Desai says to enjoy habits in moderation, and have enough serotonin in your system to let you know when enough is enough. If you’re depressed or other serious conditions, you may need more than relaxation. Of course if you have addictions, PTSD or unresolved trauma, you may need other kinds of emotional support, like a counsellor, to walk alongside you.

Create your own calm practice sequence

It takes 15 minutes for your nervous system to reset. Of course the longer the better. Remember to include something physical (restorative or yin yoga pose/s), breath techniques, and a meditation or MindRest (Yoga Nidra). Some ideas for a calm practice:

• Use the restorative morning practice video in your Member resources (if you’ve done the BeCalm Yourself series - hint, hint)

• Even if you’ve only got one minute, sit in your calm place. Place your hand on your chest, close your eyes, bring a slight smile to your lips. Feel that as a sensation.

• Listen to my BeCalmed breath track. If you’ve done the BeCalm Yourself series, you have lots of other breath tools to use.

• Do a restorative yoga pose (like supported twist or supported child, or legs up the wall.)

• Listen to a MindRest (Yoga Nidra) track. Here is one from the I AM Yoga Nidra method, focused on letting your body heal itself. The intention setting in Yoga Nidra is incredibly powerful for reprogramming your mind and releasing old habits. The deeper our habits become, the field of choices we have narrows. If you tell yourself, “This is just who I am”, then that will be so. There’s a little truth that’s hard to hear: Our mind only has the power we give it. And your body hears everything your mind says!

These practices are powerful. Buddhists practice the three jewels to stay on their path: The Buddha (having a teacher), the Dharma (the practices), and Sangha (community). Meet others with like minds to support your path. BeCalmed Studio runs full day retreats too, a lovely way to connect with others.

And let me know how you are. If you can’t afford to come to a class, don’t let that stop you. We’ll work something out.

Why is yoga obsessed with breathing?

Listen to this podcast and find out how our breath is so linked with our nervous system. I’ll talk about the different ways in which our breath is triggered by how we feel, and the other way around.

In love with no-thing

Sound of water trickling from different places. Down the small yellow pipe that connects the middle-paved steps to the stone area in our back yard. Can we hear it falling from branches to leaves, to the ground, as well? Rain tapping the roof, falling into the sump drain from the waterlogged grass. It’s not just sound. It’s also slowing down and listening. Choosing our focus.

We are sitting in our new spa. It’s been three months since we bought it, and the novelty hasn’t worn. Water gathering on a leaf. Southerly winds above, a different direction than half an hour ago.

Birds now: Tūī. Kereru. Little green things, smaller than a sparrow – we keep meaning to look it up in a bird book. Frolic. Eat. Scratch. Rush. Fight. Swooooosh.

In the ocean this morning I said I’d like to know more about the seagulls and other birds that were circulating above us. What would you like to know, my friend asks? I’d like to know why they are circulating above us, so close to the water when there are three humans here – no fish. She asks, are you trying to ask what does it mean? Yes, that’s the question but I don’t really need to know why. I look up at the birds circulating, feeling the ocean.

Here now, listening to water falling and birds birding, Letting the search for meaning dissolve. It’s a tender space. It’s an empty space that is easily filled with worry if I let it.  I fill it with gratitude and appreciation for being able to be still and listen. For having the time and not needing to rush off to an insane job.

Sound is just one sensation. I can feel the water of the spa over my skin. I can smell chlorine. I see two small black birds land on the gutter above us, making their nest in the ceiling space. I wonder if that’s good for them though. More sheltered to nurture their babies sure. But do the babies learn to be resilient and sway with the strong winds and drench in the harsh rain? Thinking. Worry.

Taste too. Salt water from the swim this morning. Toothpaste. Metal something, maybe from my tongue.

Thoughts bombard and I don’t them take hold because they are trying to dictate how I am going to be in the world. They are based on fear and mistrust in my ability to be me and connect with the world in a calmer, wider way. I treat them just like one more sensation. Listening, smelling, seeing, feeling. Thinking. Dear thoughts – thank you for keeping me safe but I give you no more power than sound. I don’t prefer you over experiencing birds growing babies, water falling from the sky, trees growing green leaves, rocks breaking down. This I love today. Right now, I feel love for the way water sounds.

Yoga Nidra teacher Kamini Desai talks about an aspect of self and love as unconditional receptivity. We are like the wide blue sky which, by its nature, simply receives whatever is in it. The sky has no conditions. I sit here in the nature of my backyard, and I have no preference for what I am experiencing. The ‘I am’ of what I experience (and have thoughts about) doesn’t exist. I’m wider and more open than myself.

We often sit in the spa at unlikely times. On Saturday night there was a 130-kilometer storm. We sat in the spa with lightening flashing around us and thunder booming through the streets of Titahi Bay.  Sunny or thunder. Sunrise or sunset. Anxious or calm.

So, love as unconditional receiving, no matter where we are. I can simply be like the sky – like nature – and receive whatever is present without fear or judgement, or division. Spa pool, driving to work, waiting in a queue, dropping a messy spoon on the floor, anger, seeing a sunrise. If we don’t prefer one over the other, we can accept everything. If we accept everything, we won’t be disappointed in ourselves or others so much. We won’t create patterns of retreating or attacking because we aren’t the thing in front of us.

In meditation we have the ability to rest in the unconditional receiving of love. We deeply rest in peaks of silence and stillness because we get to experience not being affected by anything. We rest back as the sky and watch the contents come and go. Thoughts come up but we treat them the same as sensations in our feet, or the feel of our breath. Or nothing. And gradually, thoughts give up screaming for attention and they too dissolve. For me, it took years to feel this. Some people merge straight into it. I have glimpses only and I need consistently practice.

These restful glimpses of no-thing imprint on me like the ocean covers the sea floor.

Slowly my background is changing from anxiety to calm.

Silence is only silence because there is no sound. Would we notice the silence if we didn’t first notice the sounds? Silence happens and then sounds come in. If we feel the silence more than we feel the irritation of what someone says, then we don’t create a series of ugly or painful actions. And imagine being in love with nothing! Imagine love as accepting everything because we are more than what’s in front of us, including our thoughts.

“Even in deepest despair, isolation, and most profound loneliness - it’s all happening in the backdrop of love. The backdrop of silence and stillness is not easy to notice. We take it for granted and our tendency is to notice the contents only. The truth is, you are the abiding space that sadness moves through. You are the limitless self. We need to notice we are the backdrop, the container, this eternal presence that sadness is moving through. It only appears that we are the sadness. This is the cause of suffering. We have forgotten our true limitless nature. We have come to identify with whatever happens to be in the container or passing through the sky. Yoga Nidra allows us to rest as the container.” Kamini Desai. Yoga Nidra Teacher Training notes August 2024, inspired from her book Yoga Nidra: The Art of Transformational Sleep.

Calm the *uck down with BeCalmed: Mind Rest

It’s official - we have renamed our Yoga Nidra classes to BeCalmed: Mind Rest. It’s still the same beautiful practice, using the I AM Yoga Nidra Amrit method, just a different name. We think this will make this beautiful meditation practice more accessible for people, especially those who wouldn’t normally go to a ‘yoga’ class.

What is BeCalmed: Mind Rest?

There is nothing wrong with you. You’ve just got caught up in stupid-busy. Even when you’re doing something you love, you still feel uneasy. You don’t often feel good.

It’s not you, it’s your mind. Letting your mind rest back retrains the brain to not get so obsessed with the small stuff. It’s not rocket science. It’s a scientifically, ancient practice that creates more space and calm in your life. Buddha wasn’t wrong was he!

BeCalmed: Mind Rest allows your body to relax and your mind to calm. Through regular practice of calming your mind, you learn to balance stress and emotions better. This is the same practice as Yoga Nidra - just a different name.

If you want to be in a calmer state, BE in a calmer state.

BeCalmed: Mind Rest is a super easy, no experience necessary, lying down guided meditation for the mind. By relaxing the body and disengaging from your thoughts for 30-40 minutes, you will steal energy from your over-achieving mind and begin to find more ease. 30 minutes of Yoga Nidra has been scientifically proven to be as restorative as three hours sleep.

September is BeCalmed Mind Rest month.

Come for free: one 45-minute online class in September so you can see what a profound effect this practice can have on your mind and body. Do this for yourself and for the people you love or want to love.

Calm the *ck down. BeCalmed: Mind Rest online event, Tuesdays in September, 6.30pm. First class free. Or it’s just $15 per online class. $25 forest-studio class in Titahi Bay, Porirua.

BOOK NOW: https://becalmedstudio.as.me/mindrest
Use the Coupon BECALMED1 for your free class.
You will be sent a Zoom link after you've booked.

More info on what this practice is.

Choosing your focus

Years ago, I saw this very graphic old film footage of a dead body. It was in an autopsy scene. They had taken a slide of a dead body down the middle, width wise, to reveal all the different layers that we are: Skin, fat, soft tissue, muscle, bone, organs. I remember thinking how fascinating it was that in any one slice of our human body that there are all these different things going on that makes up a body.

Imagine what else is going on when we are alive. We are skin, fat, thoughts, muscles, nerves, cells, dying, dreams, blood circulating, memory, organs pumping and filtering, pain, growing, digesting, breaking down, inflaming, crying, smiling. So much happening at exactly the same second. We usually are not aware of anything other than the thoughts that drive us. We think we are our mind, or our outward facing physical body.

If it is the case that we all these other things happening at the same time, then why do we focus on our thoughts so much? We let our thoughts, especially when we are in reaction, rule everything we do. Our thoughts (and our body’s stress or relaxation response that follows) go into over-achievement and we feel powerless to be any different.

Our mind’s sole job is to keep us safe. When we are stressed, anxious or depressed, we signal to our body via our mind that things are not well. Our nervous system (which is the holy grail of all things) plunges deep and hard into a stress response. Our heart rate goes up along with our blood pressure, our digestion slows and clogs or speeds up and stops absorbing the good stuff we eat. The mental stress we feel effects all those other subtler layers of ourselves - nervous system, the slices of muscle, feelings, organs, emotions, growth of disease-causing cells. We are letting our mind rule our everything. We are what we think. We often only identify with the catastrophe we believe is going to happen to us or has happened to us.

We need to disengage with our thoughts. Practices that help us do this, like meditation, support us to create a different relationship with life as it unfolds because for small moments we are more than our thoughts. Controlling life’s events is bonkers - we can only create our relationship to events, not the events themselves. The only way to do this is get off the mind train and into the body.

Remember what it’s like to float in the ocean? We so deeply merge into sensation. The water, sun, weightlessness. This relaxed, intentional body shape makes us breath different, into our bellies. We have a slight smile on our lips which signals to our nervous system to welcome in the relaxation response (heart calms, digestion improves, immunity boosts, dopamine hormones released). These signals switch the mind from thinking and doing, to feeling and being. Stressed time stops.

At the same second that we are identify with only our thoughts we are also a whole bunch of other sensations and happenings. Our muscles are loosening or tightening. Our breath is shallow or deep. The sun is resting on our face. Thoughts are only one sensation present at any given time. We can choose a different focus other than our thoughts. We can choose to float in the ocean and feel.

Our society mostly privileges and focuses on drivers of profit or consumerism, and mind-based success. We shove other perspectives and experiences aside. A yoga-inspired life is the opposite. It’s about letting the mind go and focusing on other sensations in the body - focusing on all the other processes and feelings that are going on. We widen our language for living to include feeling all sensations, without judgement. They are there because of who you have been. Who you will be next, is because of how you are right now.

Some meditations are about dropping down into your body and feeling these sensations. These can include feeling non-mental sensations like tightness or lightness. Hot or cold. Tingling. Electricness (I don’t think that’s a word but that’s sometimes how I feel when I imagine nerves firing through my body.) Close your eyes now and non-mentally see if you can feel something going on in your body. A texture. A swirl. A tingle. A color. An awareness of a particular organ. Trust what you feel because it could be your body showing up.

There’s a saying Yoga - where attention goes, energy flows. What you focus on, expands it. If you focus on the release of muscles in the back of neck, your muscles will relax. If you focus on the time you where angered at something someone said, you’ll relive that feeling of anger in your body and it will cause damage. You are not only what you think, but you are also what you place your attention on.

So if all that is the case, and if we can slow down enough and do practices like meditation or restorative yoga to be more non-mentally present in our bodies, then don’t we then also have the ability to replace icky stuff with something more positive, or hopeful or helpful or fun ? We can recall the sensation of floating in the ocean, or sitting in the sun, or cuddling your cat. Sensations of joy rather than dread. Love rather frustration. Sharing a sadness. Sure, when we are reacting to something or being triggered, it’s dam hard to choose something more lovely. One of my teachers, Kamini Desai, says “We are allowed our first reaction”. But then we can learn from the experience by slowing down and noticing how we feel in our bodies. We can then learn to transform the ick.

We have a new spa pool. I’ve resisted it for most of my adult life because of cost and environmental reasons. But stuff it, we got one. Most mornings at sun rise, after my cold ocean plunge, my partner and I sit in our spa. We immerse ourselves in how the world wakes up. We see the birds migrate from Mana Island over our forest to wherever they are going. If we talk about anything tense, or the past, or worrying about the future, we try to stop ourselves. We want to focus on our connection with nature and each other: The migratory patterns of birds; Tui that dart up our driveway and dive into the forest; the way the light falls; how we feel; response to a smile. It’s a choice. It takes practice. It takes constant reframing and refocusing on how we want to feel and who we want to become. It’s harder to do when there’s trauma in our lives or our family, or down our street. But we must try so we can be of better use. We can be both and choose.

All this relies on restorative and meditative practice so you can feel other sensations that thought. We can be driven by so much more. We can not only choose what we focus on and feel in our bodies at any time, but we can proactively place intentions in the space we create by slowing down. Our bodies hear everything we do and say. Choose.

Try this. The next time you find yourself in reaction, choose something else. Sit down, go for a walk, close your eyes. Focus on something else. The birds flying above. The sound of your breath. Feel what expands when you breathe in and what releases when you breathe out. Imagine blood flowing freely through your body. Feel all the teeny nerves and muscles in the back of your neck relax. Feel the difference. That’s yoga. Forget the foot behind the head stuff. That’s only for intense yogis and not ordinary people. The physical posture side of yoga is only one of the eight limbs of yoga. They all lead to this: experiencing resting in silence and stillness from which everything arises. And it’s a lifetime of beautiful, slow, immersive and insightful practice, one change of focus at a time.

The BeCalmed Breath

Our breath is so blimmin’ amazing. It shows us how we feel and can give us the gift of calm no matter how shitty you feel. It is the only automatic system in our body that we can control, to make us calmer. Be calm now with this short BeCalmed Breath. Focusing on your breath steals attention away from your busy mind. And it’s free!

Want more free stuff? Let me know how much time you’ve got each day to breathe better, and I’ll send you more resources.

Your Calm Transition to Sleep

Listen to these words and find out how to improve your sleep. Transition to the most fundamental aspects of your health and wellbeing - your sleep. I know this works because I’ve created it from my own experience. #bettersleep

Globe Artichoke Yoga bolsters

Since everyone asks where I get my stunning yoga bolsters from…

Globe Artichoke

Aotearoa owned and made in Paekakariki. You can take some of the wool stuffing out for a softer comfort.

Or if you’re on a tight budget, K Mart has these ones. You can always look out for rectangular shaped cushions at op shops too. But really, investing in an awesome bolster that you love the look of and feel awesome on will help you practice. Think of it has your little bundle of calm. Have it visible. Love it!