Thoughts on the word ‘calm’

Calm is the absence of tension

If you have ever done a yoga class, breath class, or the like, there is this beautiful moment at the end. The practice is over and you are still.  Time has elongated. You’ve left your agitated thinking and doing-body and are resting in your presence and being-body. You’ve calmed your mind by relaxing and releasing tension in your body. If you’ve ever done a Yoga Nidra session, you would also have released mental and emotion tension as well. The longer you practice and stay in this exquisite space, the longer it will last throughout your days and transform your approach and responses to life.

Calm body, calm mind

It’s fairly hard to have a calm mind if you are always distracted by tension in your body. Trying to meditate with a painful neck, heart palpitations, or any other kind of physical tension is extremely difficult:  But that’s not to say that we have to wait until we have a perfectly relaxed body to feel mentally calm. In this world, that’s just silly unless you are dedicated to a life of spiritual practice. We often think that if we can’t get to a perfect state (and give up habits and fun stuff on the way) then there’s no point. We are messy, complex, irrational, confusing and reactive beings who live in a world which we largely cannot control. But there is always something we can do to calm our physical body, so we can calm our mind - little, simple things - by a regular practice of what works for you and makes you feel good. After all, we are what we think.

Calm as self-soothing

As kids, some of us fell into the arms of a loving parent when we were upset; or grabbed a cuddly blanket; or hid under a bed; or developed physical coping mechanisms to get away from a traumatic environment. Whatever the experience, we all know that doing something is required to create experience. This experience is held in the body as well as our subconscious. Our bodies are energy charged memory museums that need calm to constantly rewire, recalibrate and relearn to feel good. Self-soothing doesn’t need to be complicated: A warm bath with lavender oils; massaging your own hands and feet; buzzy breath (put your fingers in your ears, take a deep breath in, and on the out breath buz like a bee on the outbreath - for three minutes); walk in nature, feeling your feet on the ground and saying ‘thinking’ when your unhelpful thoughts take over. These bring about the relaxation response by activating the vagus nerve – a stunning nerve that runs from your brain to your gut, sending messages to your nervous system that you are okay - or not.

Calm as a route to changing your life

Sounds dramatic I know. Every thing we think and feel has a consequence in our mind, body and life. But our bodies are very forgiving: they put up with a lot from us and are designed to do just that. I recently returned from six months in Asia. My body worked overtime for the first week I was back: I was hot and cold, couldn’t sleep, when to the loo at odd hours, wasn’t very hungry, and I felt these extraordinary internal processes going on. My body mirrored: what the hell am I doing here? Can I really be a good teacher? I hate my clothes. Things evened out. My body knew how to come back to homeostasis (by balancing, adjusting). But it needs love and care to do so. I’ve needed to take things easy and trust in my clever body.

Once back to balance (or a version of it) something else begins to kick in. There’s something beyond a calm body and a calm mind – a way to change your life. Once we are calm, then what? How can we use being calm in body and mind to live differently? Once we are calm, we can create affirmations, rewire our brain, attract positive encounters, allow our wisdom and intuition to arise, and ultimately curate a calmer and happier life. Living above survival and balance is where life changes. It starts with coming home, one breath at a time; one intentional release of one muscle. The only place and time to start is right now with every experience you’ve ever had. There’s no eraser of past things.

Your life is not going to unwind on its own.

Find out more about the beautiful practice of Yoga Nidra

Find out more how your body responds to stress and relaxation

Find out more about BeCalmed Studio classes and recordings including yoga nidra, restorative yoga, meditation and yin yoga.

Find out more about BeCalmed Studio’s unqiue BeCalmed Yourself five-week programme.

How BeCalmed Studio got its name

This is how BeCalmed Studio got it’s name - inspired by founder Janie Walker’s sailing adventures in the Pacific and Asia!

How Wellington yoga studio BeCalmed Studio got its name.

Yoga Nidra: the letting go

BeCalmed Studio’s Janie Walker has completed further Yoga Nidra teacher training at InDepth Yoga Academy.

I’m aware of the absence of things, just for a second. I’m lying on the floor in a cool roof-top yoga studio in Phuket. I know there’s chaotic traffic half a kilometre away. Dogs barking. The yells of fight from the boxing academy up the road. But I’m no longer conscious of that . I’ve reached a withdrawal of the senses and there’s a new experience happening. I’m loosing control of my thoughts. I can feel them slipping away and I’m trying to fight the natural desire to grasp them back. As I let go I fight too. What am I letting go into?

For the first time, I’m experiencing this fight and letting go as a duality: as anxiety as well as calm. I used to think I was one or the other at any given time. I thought the point of all this yoga and meditation practice was to spend more time in the calm space, blocking out the anxiety and worry. But after this new Yoga Nidra teacher training, I realise that both exist at the same time. There needs to be an awareness and acceptance of all our icky stuff instead of blocking it out in the hope that we will eventually be somewhere else. We have to find love for what we’re letting go of.

I think that’s what holidays and changing jobs or relationships do. They force us to leave ourselves instead of love ourselves. It’s easer to leave.

A brindle rescue cat and a black and white rescue dog have made their home here as they saunter and stretch in and out of our class. They’re both splayed out in front of me on their tummies. These animals had a hard start in life but they’re learning to rest here too. I like the addition of animals - easy compassion.

The lovely yoga teachers here are a mother and daughter team - Nathalie and Anastasia (Ana). Ana, the daughter, is my Yoga Nidra trainer. She’s much younger than me and fires between a wise sage and a youthful pocket-rocket. I love her quirkiness and absolute love of yoga. She explains complex yoga terms in easy ways. I also love the way she’s spent her young life questioning the teachings of the buddha and ancient wisdoms instead of blindly following them. She’s very smart and I can’t wait to meet her when her years catch up with her mind.

Ana reminds me that this letting go in Yoga Nidra leads to the heart of this practice - resting in wakeful awareness - the systematic letting go of physical, mental and emotion tensions during the different states of a Yoga Nidra session. Tension ceases to exist for a time. This brings a profound state of relaxation, rest and healing - well beyond the 30-40 minute practice.

Resting in awareness of the present moment is the whole point of, well, pretty much anything to do with yoga!

I think we can experience a brief, shallower state of this - a taster - in our daily lives. You’ve finished work and you rush home (because that’s just what you do). You do the essentials and instead of turning the TV on, you sit on the deck, garden or bed. Alone. There’s so much to do and achieve. But you’re overwhelmed. You listen to the wise part of yourself and decide to just stop for a minute. You get comfy, take a deep breath in (of fresh air) and sigh out (stale air). There are a few seconds before your brain kicks in and tells you to get a move on and you rest between the outbreath and the inbreath. Something else exists. A beautiful pause. It’s the resting place of our true nature. You don’t really know what that is, but you know it’s there. Intuitively you know it’s something you want/need more of. Awareness of your present moment without the shitty past or the anxious future. This resting in awareness decides how you live the rest of your life. The longer you stay - and the deeper you go with practices like Yoga Nidra - the more you naturally transform your life. Because there’s no reaction when there’s no tension. There’s just an awareness of things as they are. You get to experience the why of your conscious and subconscious.

So, what’s the point of resting in wakeful awareness? There’s the easier to grasp stuff - you relax, lower your heart rate, digest better, relax your nervous system to lower stress, manage pain and increase yummy neurotransmitters like dopamine.

Then there’s the energetic and personality stuff: Yoga Nidra, over time, changes your relationship to thoughts, emotions and how you interact with the world.

Only yesterday, I had another moment of realisation of this for myself. We were deciding whether to lock up or not before we went out. I’m more cautious than my partner and can get anxious about leaving. We were about to enter the familiar argument when I said, “Just do whatever you think is best”. I thought to myself, “Wow, who was that?” Way calmer. Less reactory. A much nicer person to be around.

Letting go can be scary but clutching makes us fight. And fishing spins us in mental circles. Letting go with practices like Yoga Nidra is what will ultimately transform our lives and the lives of others.

Ana from InDepth Yoga Academy. A wise and quirky soul.

Your free relaxation track for lifelong change

You really, really, really want to feel better. You want to know what to do to make a shift into the kind of life you imagine yourself having. But what will it take? You’ve tried a few things already - some have worked for a friend so why not you? You know you should be doing more relaxing and you should be doing this, that, and this….so maybe it’s time for a different approach. Something gentler and slower. It took you a lifetime to get here. Let’s help you make a shift, one subtle step at a time.

New Year's Resolutions often do not work. They are a quick fix that are hard to keep because only your conscious mind has changed, not your sub and unconscious mind. How about trying a more transformative way this year - a slower, deeper way - that of regular active relaxation. Try practices that work on changing your subconscious, not your hectic mind. Regular practice of being in a calmer state will lead you to not only more clarity about how you want your life to really be, but just be practicing, changes will happen.

For some, positive thinking and affirmations can feel a bit naf and fake. But when you choose your own intentions, and if they are done regularly when you have actively relaxed, they train your subconscious to believe in something else. You’ll create new habits - and your brain will then reinform your behaviour to achieve a new state. You are what you think.

I remember a meditation teacher saying to me years ago that the most painful thing is to be off your path. We flounder around in interesting places looking for fixes to bring about change. Let’s help you stop the looking. You already have everything you need because your best vehicle for change is yourself when you are relaxed. Allow change to happen from the inside out.

Here's your free relaxation audio track to start the process.

If you want to relearn to relax more to live life better, gain more insight and tools that you’ll have forever - come join me in my small forest-studio in Titahi Bay. Or online. Practices include gentle movement, breath work, Yoga Nidra, Restorative and Yin Yoga, discussion, one-on-one support, and online Yoga Nidra.

Your best vehicle for change is your relaxed self.

Brushing off the ants and moving on

I took a photo this morning at sunrise, of three sweet little birds resting on the side rail of the boat. I was doing some yoga, blissing out, thinking how cool life is. Then I started scratching. I had all these tiny flying ant type things crawling all over me - nose, back, arms - revolting. Well, that sure ruined the moment of tranquility. My reaction wasn’t pretty. I flicked them off and moved spots. Straight away I went into a “my morning is ruined, oh it’s so hard, why…” but managed to catch myself. I realised that calming practice is also about recovery. We practice calm not just for the feeling good of right now.

The BeCalmed method focuses on a systematic way of experiencing life without tension. This means we can respond to life in other ways than our destructive habitual patterns.

There’s no tension in the present moment. And life without tension feels better, is more useful and has the potential to transform our life and others. By dropping ourselves into the present, right now, we are open to things as they are: Not our shittiness, or insecurity, or reactiveness, or destructive storylines - but the subtler, wiser side of ourselves. We express vulnerability and compassion that connects us to others.

For me, Yoga Nidra is where the expression of this subtlety truly lies. This year I’ll be including new elements in Yoga Nidra sessions, while keeping its profound and ancient simplicity. My favourite one, thanks to Yoga Nidra teacher Kamini Desai, is…

Our source is our silent stillness.

Our goal isn’t to be in a state of calm all the time. Flying ants have a right to exist too! Life is *ucking hard sometimes and jolts us. Maybe the point is to be able to deal with life better by continuing to learn to come home to our calm, still source more - albeit briefly. It is a rich and boundaryless space.

“Our source is our silent stillness”. Kamini Desai

BeCalmed Studio is an active relaxation studio in Titahi Bay, Porirua. Small forest-studio classes for a maximum of four people include yoga nidra, yin yoga, stress release, breath work, meditation, discussion, online support and classes, one-on-one classes. Yoga Porirua can now be found in a gorgeous little forest in Titahi Bay. Book here or Contact Janie.

The calm between the fall…

I’ve been thinking about falling. It’s easy to fall back into past habits, past ways of feeling, regret, and past places of stuck comfort. It’s harder to fall forward, to something else unknown. So what do we need in order to fall forward?

Between falling backwards and falling forwards is a middle space. This point is full of possible calm.

I’ve had a virus the past week and are also feeling homesick. I’m trying to fall forward. The weight of family and the physical BeCalmed Studio space in the forest is causing me to fall back. I think of you - the people who have come through the studio - and how much you are with me here.

I think of you falling forward and lean with you.

I fall foward through legs up the wall, waterfall, child’s pose and feeling steady in tree pose. And always the outbreath.

In finding comfort, breath, release and flow.

I fall forward by resting in flow because it is not weighted by the past. It is lightness and potential.